Monday, July 21, 2008

Change Could Be in the Air

Sunday
Relief Society Announcement:
Enrichment Tuesday Night 7pm
Come join us for a night of fun and ask a panel of single guys anonymous questions about dating and girl/guy relationships. Refreshments following.

Inner Monologue: Wow, I feel really great about this. This could possibly be the moment where the great chasm of male and female dynamics can be bridged and mutual understanding and trust will ensue.

Tuesday

Anonymous Question #1: Why do guys struggle when it comes to dating?

Male Response: Could you repeat the question, we don't understand what you're asking?

Inner Monologue: Wow, this is going to be a fun night.


Anonymous Question #2: Why do all guys want to date 20 year old Barbie's with testimonies? No matter how old or creepy the guy gets?

Male Response: That's not true at all.

Inner Monologue: Correct!!! Of course that's not true because Barbie's with Testimonies don't exist, just like the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause. But that doesn't stop any guy from chasing after that Pot of Gold. Sorry fellows, any girl with a 25in waist and extremely large man made "girls," probably doesn't read her scriptures or attend all her church meetings.

Anonymous Question #3: What traits and characteristics are most attractive to you?

Male Response: I want to date this type of girl, someone who...

What He Said (What He Meant):

Has a testimony (Goes to church, sometimes)

Funny, good personality (Always giggles at my lame jokes)

Cute, Attractive (Smokin' hot, tight little body)

Successful/Driven (Daddy pays rent when she spends too much on clothes)

Life Goals (Wants to get married before starting the rest of her life)

Be a Good Mother (Won't get fat while she's pregnant or at least loose all baby weight before leaving hospital)

Inner Monologue: Interesting, I'm so happy that single guys in this generation have their priorities in order. Oh wait, they don't. I guess that great chasm didn't get bridged after all. I've been sorely disappointed. They may say they want to date that type of girl but their actions speak louder than their words. I know so many amazing girls who date rarely, if ever and I also know some not so amazing girls that date all the time. Funny, how that works.

Refreshments/Mingle Time Following Panel: Five girls for every guy. I guess we enjoy making it blatantly easy for them and significantly harder for us. Maybe we are creating the world of lazy men.


Moral of the Story/Lesson Learned:

I don't know if there is a lesson learned, just that being single and living in this dating world is EXHAUSTING.

4 comments:

Crystal said...

Ash!! Long time no see. So I love your blog. I have one, but its private. I'll get your email from Kirst and send you an invite. I hope your doing well and don't mind checking in on your life :)
Love the post. I hated dating. So I basically skipped it and went straight to making out. I highly recommend it. Enjoying male bodies and lips makes life so much more fun!! Ha, ha, yes I'm still the same.

Kirst said...

I like Crystal's comment. I think we should just do that. LOL to your post. MY goodness we live in a world where the y chromosome has a major defect. Blasted Idiots!

Em said...

Love this post! Especially the part about Barbies with testimonies. I read the question twice because I thought there was a typo, thinking, "Surely they can't mean Barbies WITH testimonies!"

Elise said...

AMEN sister! I've been waiting for a rundown of the dating panel since I "unfortunately" was excused...glad/sad to know it was just a rerun of what we've known all along...

So I found your blog through Emily...hope you don't mind. Now I've just got to figure out how to get to Kirst!